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The Modern Myth of Job Creation

With news today the Government might look to Halton Borough Council for some cash should the freight and logistics park they are developing together with Stobart and Prologis called ‘3MG’ (stands for Multi Modal Gateway and there’s three of them responsible for it – surely 3 MMG or 2MG) fail to live up to expectations it’s time to consider the ramifications.

Firstly Mr Nick ‘I want to be popular’ Clegg announced last month that the Government’s Regional Growth Fund was to put up nine million quid to assist development of the project (so hang on – surely that’s 4MG, or as it’s partly our money 62,300003MG or thereabouts).

Last year we had the pleasure of visiting the new port at London Gateway on the Thames being developed by DP World, and very impressive it is too. We also had the pleasure of speaking with Nick’s old buddy Vince Cable who was delighted to tell the assembled company that the scheme would create up to 6,500 jobs.

Now apparently noises are being made that we (I use the phrase loosely) want our cash back from the Halton Council if the scheme doesn’t result in the predicted 2,700 plus jobs (Stobart’s website says 5000+, Prologis don’t even seem to call it 3MG).

Well Mr Clegg and Co. the Captain has a word of advice about this.

These are not jobs being created.

To create a job, one has to implement something which is entirely new i.e. in our game (UK plc export division) make something new.

These are exactly the same as other jobs created, what they mean to say is transferred.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nooo my Liberal buddies, sorry to tell you but if you genuinely couldn’t work out this particular equation then, put simply, you’re too thick to be in Politics.

 

 

 

I’m sure however that isn’t the case, I’m sure this is just the usual duplicitous double shuffle with Nick warming the assorted cockles of unemployed hearts in Widnes without the onerous task of telling anyone else, particularly neighbouring Liverpool or even his own lovely Sheffield exactly where these jobs would emanate from just as Vince, who represents Twickenham, won’t have to explain to dockers in Felixstowe and Southampton why they might get laid off.

 

So good luck with that Nick, the chances of you bowling up to Halton in eighteen months with cap in hand to explain why you were going to cause local rates to rise?

If you live there I wouldn’t lose any sleep.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Incidentally, as we in the UK HSG office are all Essex and East London boys and girls this isn’t having a go at Stobart.

Yes. That’s the new rail station at Southend Airport (Sorry, LONDON – Southend airport, after all it’s only 40 miles away)

 

 

The development at Southend Airport and associated rail station WILL create jobs simply by opening up new opportunities and enticing more business into the UK as well as out, so hats off, when the development started we (that is the Handy Shipping Guide), like many others thought it might be a poorly disguised extension of the groups freight services entirely unsuitable to the local area.

What we actually have is the possibility with those true entrepreneurs who run cheap flights and associated businesses to provide new opportunities – and all in time for the Olympics!

Cameron Snubs EU But What Are Consequences For UK Freight and Logistics?

Beware Greeks Bearing Begging Bowls (and Italians, Spanish etc.)

UK – EUROPE – Prime Minister David Cameron effectively exercised Britain’s veto yesterday after coming under pressure to accept changes to policy with regard to the Euro. With £53 billion a year reportedly emanating from financial services (around 9% of British GDP if the analysts are to be believed) there was never a way that the UK could agree to the so called ‘Tobin Tax’ a revenue raiser based on EU wide taxation of financial transactions.

But what does this seismic shift mean for the freight and logistics sector as Britain becomes more isolated from the seventeen Eurozone countries?

Firstly the argument will be from many that this was not what we signed up for. When Britain joined the EU in 1973 (along with Ireland and Denmark) it was touted by the six existing members as a ‘Common Market’. Since that date the organisation of states has changed beyond recognition and is widely viewed, in Britain and abroad, as a power base for politicians who want control over all they survey.

Twenty seven members ranging from the precise and financially competent to the frivolous and downright dishonest now ‘share’ the united wealth of the community. It is now accepted that monetary union has been very good for some and very bad for others and countries like Britain and Hungary, another abstainer from the latest ‘offer’, are told that staying out of the club will lead to dire consequences.

So what will happen to trade I hear you ask? Will Britain be isolated from the economics of the EU? Well, considering the EU itself still hasn’t managed to lodge accounts for well over a decade one might ask should we in the UK care and who the hell are they to make financial decisions anyway? Many of you old fogies out there will remember the Carnet’s, 27 pages and more that we used to have to complete by hand to export to neighbours like Spain. Officious border authorities would make trailers wait days and often weeks before allowing passage. Are the Europhiles suggesting we will return to those days because we don’t say yes to treaty changes affecting a currency we don’t use?

The fact is the introduction of the humble T Form changed the nature of trade with Europe forever just as the shipping container killed the closed shop that was the docks. It soon faded to being a simple necessity for trade between non EU members like Switzerland and the thought of returning to previous methods of handling and documenting consignments is frankly ludicrous.

Britain has been trading with the Eurozone for years, the pound falls, exports to the EU rise and imports fall, the pound rises and the reverse happens.

So what’s the worst thing our European cousins, led by the old Franco German alliance of ‘Merkozy’, can do?

 

The most likely outcome would be some sort of trade restriction, higher duty rates etc. but does anyone think that’s a likely outcome, duty and tax rates cut both ways internationally and the thought of anything heavier, sanctions etc. are surely ludicrous.

 

 

In this mans view the EU is starting to look a little like the gang at school your mum told you not to hang around with. Some of those swarthy boys off the estate might nick all your pocket money and refuse to give it back.

 

(James Tobin - 1918 -2002 Nobel Memorial Prize winner )

 

The attempt to get the UK to sign up to old Jim Tobin’s 1972 suggestion of taxing money is a dead mans hand. I’ve ranted on before in these pages about coming off the Gold Standard and that suggestion was as a direct result of that nice Mr Nixon in the US abandoning gold in 1971 to make the dollar the ‘go to’ world currency.

Keep in mind the US deficit which is rising like a sparrow with a banger up its backside and the fact that, like communism, the financial transaction tax is only a great idea as long as everybody involved, in this case the entire world including all those little offshore tax havens the financially astute and corrupt adore so much, all play ball.

So what are we left with, a bunch of sour faces in Brussels (the very name of that little vegetable can have the same effect) and a vacuum which nobody has any idea how to fill. Watch and listen for a hail of criticism from the continent at Cameron’s audacity to stick up for British opinion but bear in mind this last thought.

When the Captain was beavering away in La Belle France in the ‘80’s, and Maggie in Europe was doing a political imitation of Geoff Boycott in his heyday to multiple insults from opposition home and abroad, a neighbour approached with the French man in the streets view of our former leader.

‘Mon Dieu’, he said, ‘If only we had a single politician like that, she makes them look stupid, they shiver like little boys.’

 

And, as I recall, trade with Europe didn’t suffer at all.

Be Careful What You Wish For

So – What will happen to the Eurozone?

Alright I know the Captain’s personal blog is not usually regarded as the font of all fiscal and financial knowledge, as a matter of fact I hardly know the difference between the two – bit like most economists then.*

*(Fiscal refers to Government related financial policies and usually prefixes something else like ‘policy’ or nowadays ‘deficit’. Don’t bother Googling, where do you think I checked?)

. . . As usual of course I do have some (fairly strong) opinions (you’re a bigot. Ed) as to the cause and ramifications of the bloody mess that now exists. Note I did not phrase that ‘the mess we’ve got into’ or ‘the mess we find ourselves in’. Those are the most commonly used phrases to define the situation and they are usually heard emerging from the mouths of the political classes.

Of course all of us must bear some responsibility for our country’s debt; that is when it is as a result of the stupidity or downright dishonesty of our political ‘leaders’. After all – as a body we voted them in.

By the way – if you are one of those incompetent creatures who habitually say at this point ‘I don’t vote – they’re all the same’, please leave now.

Anyone who won’t get off their a**e to vote has no place in this discussion (alright you’re not discussing but you know what I mean – there is a comment facility you know).

If you don’t want to vote for any of the clowns suggested by your local representatives then do what the Captain sometimes does, wander into the booth and express your views, firmly but not too rudely, on the ballot paper.

. . .It doesn’t have to be anything too intellectual, ‘None of the Above’ (©Richard Pryor – God Bless Him), ‘Vote for Me you Moron’s’ or the classic ‘None of you lot are worth a toss’.

If enough people do this perhaps the ‘political classes’ might at least get a hint but whatever you do, use your vote even as a voice of dissent.

. . .When we have governments elected by around a quarter of the population there is something rotten in the state of Denmark (sorry Denmark, I don’t know why the Bard had to choose you, you’re not even IN the Eurozone).

. . .Back to the plot. . . .

 

As we know everyone blames the bankers for the current disaster as we watch the Eurozone implode and the rats flee the ship. The real villains however are politicians (Surprise! Surprise! ) as anyone who has heard the likes of Neil ,Neil Orange Peel Kinnock admitting mea culpa to anyone prepared to listen for trying to force us (UK that is)into the Euro, this from a man who has been positively slurping from the gravy train since British voters decided he was an overconfident, smug Welsh windbag with a wife trying to be posh.

So what did we wish for?

Perhaps we can trace our demise in Britain back to coming off the gold standard, after all, when you have a commodity that anyone in the world will give you a standard price for you can quantitive ease your fiscal bowels out all day long, provided of course you have the geld to cover it.

Coming off the gold standard should have caused alarm straight away when you think about it. ‘I Promise to Pay the Bearer’ means what it says, i.e. I’ll give you gold to the value of.  Not,   I’ll swap you three toxic mortgages, five beans and a pair of Nike trainers (hardly worn).

We came off the gold standard because we didn’t have enough gold presumably. We then got Gordon the Gofer as chancellor who thought in his infinite financial wisdom that it would be a good idea to flog off what we had left (at about 20% of its worth today). And I thought Jocks were supposed to be a bit cute round a pound note!

 

So where are we now?

And who wished for what exactly?

Well when the Captain was a little swab in short trousers taking history lessons in school (actually my history lessons are now ancient history themselves when you think about it) he was regaled with tales of how Germany, emerging from the first big one a little sorry for itself, entered the next two decades without the proverbial topf to pisse in.

Tales of poverty abounded, you know the sort of thing wheelbarrows full of Deutschmarks left outside and when the owner returned the money was there but the barrow had been nicked. Presumably it was this very situation that wound up the little house painting Chaplin tribute act so much he decided to rule the world (actually he vowed to rule Europe and ‘let Britain take care of the rest of the world’).

Now this great desire for lebensraum is no laughing matter of course but, as we all now know, without a central Eurozone bank similar to the Bank of England (Gawd bless her), the only ones with the cash to mortgage out the Italians, Greeks, Portuguese, Irish et al are our old mates Merkel Gmbh and associates.

So now, and you’ve got to admire them for it, our old mates in Germany will rule Europe, whether we or indeed they, like it or not. Considering a short time ago they were complaining that reintegrating what was East Germany into the West was going to skint them, and now they (apparently) have the only really healthy economy in Europe (we don’t count the Swiss, they don’t speak to the neighbours unless they want something – you know the type) I for one look forward to see what they’re going to do with their new empire.

Ironic isn’t it.

The Roman Empire lasted centuries and swept across this part of the globe with impunity, now the Germans can give a foster home to the Italians – the country equivalent of Paris Hilton.

 

Best of luck with that then, I’m sure that’s what you ordered sir.

You Couldn’t Make It Up – No Really

Amongst the reams of stuff that pours in through the numerous electronic portals that comprise the Handy Shipping Guide data management system (alright, we get lots of e mails) come some pieces which immediately make one draw breath.

Some are heroic, like the Aussie trucker who risked death, not to mention his precious rig, to pull some random lady from the jaws of death during the January 2010 floods Down Under.

 

John Kelly & Son Transport driver who helped rescue a motorist during the flash floods in Toowoomba

. Some put into words just how inventive and intelligent those in the Project Freight community can be when faced with seemingly insurmountable obstacles for example Beluga Shipping’s ambitious idea of pulling a freighter with a kite (no you couldn’t make that one up either).........

 

. . Some are just downright nasty like the murdering hounds who blacken the name of the Captain’s own occupation – the scum who murder on the high seas whilst chasing a profit.

. . . . .And then there are some – (pause for thought) and I know this will invoke incredulity amongst regular readers of this irregular column – that simply leave one speechless. . .

 

Today, this arrived, I leave it to the reader to judge if it is serious, for my part I can feel fuses blowing every time I look at it…………

Deutsche Post presents the first German happiness study

* The German Happiness Atlas 2011 (Glücksatlas Deutschland 2011) compares 19 regions in Germany to examine how happy Germans are

* Difference between eastern and western German small

* Hamburg, Lower Saxony and Bavaria are the happiest regions in Germany

This press release from Deutschland’s finest then goes on for another 600 words or so. For those not inclined to read the release HERE and I wouldn’t attach any blame for that unless you really want to know that dear old DP says that at a scale of 7/10 Germans are happier than at any time since 2001 (no Gottfried, records don’t go back to 1939),            Hamburg is the happiest region in Germany with 7.38 points and bottom of the league is Thuringia, which is a bit rich as that area has produced half of the German Winter Olympics medallists in the last twenty years so what have they got to be miserable about?

 

 

 

Come to think of it though Hamburg has the Reeperbahn but then as long ago as 2008 the ‘Independent’ wrote of the areas demise and mourned the death of the sex industry there putting the blame squarely on the development of Hamburg as a container port.

 

Based on that evidence Deutsche Post have probably deduced that containerisation of freight makes people happier than prostitution.

Why not? It’s no dafter than a happiness study.

One Day We’ll Look Back on This and Laugh – Honest

Riots, Bloody Riots, today we woke up to the same loops of video footage of fires blazing around London and other major cities as ‘yoofs’ in hoodies and scarves rampaged around facing the ranks of police and firemen depleted by successive government cuts.

 

Not a lot of chance of the army turning up yet either as most of them are too busy getting shot in Afghanistan (which looks kinda tranquil by comparison – at least one is allowed, nay expected, to shoot back).

Here your ageing skipper is faced with petulant youths arguing the case for anarchy; is it me or do they just not mature any more?

At the risk of one of the ‘in my day’ moments I can distinctly remember going down that revolutionary path and out through the garden gate of reason at the other end by the age of about 16 (anyway there were other factors, women, drinking, recreational abuse, women, sport, recreational abuse of and by women etc).

 

So to make plain the Captains stance on this batch of riots here is my analysis of our pre Olympic Britain and her current spate of ‘unrest’ with solutions: 

1) Ban coverings of the face – all of them, hoodies, burkas whatever unless it’s a white silk scarf and you’re riding a pre 1970’s British motorcycle or a Sopwith Camel. Mandatory 2 years in gaol for offenders.

 

 

                  No                                                           Definitely No                                                         No Worries

 

2) They postponed West Ham’s Carling Cup tie tonight in the face of the trouble – bad move. They should have postponed it after the fans turned up, tell them no football tonight when they were in the stadium and why, then (after telling the crowd these people were also all Millwall supporters) let all the hoodlums they have arrested loose on the middle of the pitch, switch the floodlights down low and have all police leave the stadium (come to think of it do the same at the Den).

   THAT'S a scary crowd boys. 

 

3) Anyone arrested be forced to pay for ALL the damage pro rata including compensation to those who have lost their homes and businesses. 

 

4) If by chance any of the morons out on the street read this – quit complaining.

 A) Take yourself down to the nearest library (if you know where to find one - those cuts again- and what a library is and sign up for some educational courses – you must be signing on so you’ve got the time.

 

 

This is a Library - quite a posh one

 

B) Take up a political position – any political position – if you want to rule the streets get in a position of power to do so (don’t worry ‘normal’ readers they have neither the wit nor the will to do this).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

George - Proving someone more stupid than you CAN succeed in politics (I couldn't bear a picture of Ms Palin - that would just be cruel)

 

For anyone reading this outside the UK let’s just make plain who these people are. They are basically greedy thieves. Don’t buy the ‘disenfranchised’ line some peddle, they can’t even spell it. This is a society in which people expect something for nothing, not for them the hardships endured by our fathers and grandfathers (and mothers) generations.

Yes, we baby boomers had it easy no question. The Captain and compatriots were born in a golden age, forget three days of terror during the Cuban Missile crisis, the Cold War etc. we let mum and dad worry about that (yes, mum and dad still lived together usually, they believed in commitment).

(some of us still haven't got over the love and peace bit - off to the Cropredy Festival when I've finished preaching).

 

There is no political point to this latest batch of troubles, no placards demanding rights or equality ( see the Father Ted Blog two entries before this one) If there were they would be pleading for new i phones to go with their Blackberry’s and free airtime not food and clean water. But have no fear anarchists all, you may soon have what you wish for. The US economy is staggering under the weight of trillions of dollars of debt, Britain is facing the most serious energy crisis in recent history, the Eurozone is teetering on the brink and we managed to achieve all that with no help whatsoever from you morons.

So worry not, you may see us out on the streets before you realise. Thing is some of us older ones have been expecting chaos all our lives, we have planned for this scenario for years living the best and expecting the worst.

The history of man is littered by extended periods of war punctuated by the odd peaceful interlude and I for one thank God to have lived untouched by the horrors. The riot generation can only afford civil unrest because of the freedoms we as a society have allowed them.

 

Make no mistake, burning down the homes and businesses of innocent, hard working people isn’t revolution. It’s crime pure and simple, and much as I and all my generation have an inbuilt abhorrence at the thought of a police state the ‘Tottenham Spring’ needs an iron fist, not to allow some gung ho coppers to get their jollies, but to make a statement from the silent majority.

 

Blimey – if you ever want to get something off your chest – write a blog, now where did I put that tie and dye T shirt?