In the vain hope that one of the ignorant, arrogant, misguided little turds who kidnapped an innocent Kentish couple this week on a sailing trip in, admittedly troubled, waters ever get to read this, here are some simple observances from your pirate captain (ret’d).
When you nick a ruddy great ship like the Ariana, the Greek owned, Maltese flagged grain carrier with 35,000 tonnes of soya beans aboard you have some chance of getting the $3.5 million that you asked for in return for her release and safe passage.
There are insurance companies, who we all roundly despise normally, who may be forced to cough up.
Or some blokes might not get the new villa’s this year in order to save face because they forgot, or more likely, chose not to pay the premium.
When you lifted the Chandlers from their marine bathtub on a day out from the Garden of England you pinched a couple with moderate means, in a worthless scow who come from a country where we send boys to war dressed in plastic hats driving cheap and nasty minibuses across deadly landmines.
A government that lies about the level and value of their protection quite brazenly and chooses to ignore anything it doesn’t like.
Put it this way, if you nicked these guys (G. Brown and homies) most of us would pay a ransom for you to keep them.
So that ridiculous phone call to Reuters, when you demanded $7 million for the pair’s safe return because “NATO had destroyed a lot of your equipment” and killed a lot of your mates – well- it ain’t happening.
With any luck we’ll soon have a government with a bit of bottle and guess what? Some of our friends may be paying you a visit.
There is a degree of sympathy for the people of Somalia.
We know there is poverty and hardship and if we had a decent Government they might be trying to assist you a bit more.
But abducting two ordinary folk trying to have an adventure before the man in the dark suit turns up – sorry lads you’ve overstepped the mark.
Not only ain’t you getting the dough you just made a whole bunch of new enemies - and we’ve got very long memories.
I'm waiting to see if this is going to be for China what the Barbary Coast was to the United States. "From the halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli..."
Posted by: Wotchit321 | 10/31/2009 at 09:34 AM
Love the monkey.
Posted by: Freight Freak | 11/01/2009 at 01:26 AM
Witness the power of the Captain's blog and tremble!!!
Just in - Ransom demand for Kent couple dropped to £100,000.
Take me SERIOUSLY you suckers!
Posted by: Captain P | 11/01/2009 at 10:29 AM
Yes, your influence amongst the Somali pirate fraternity is as great as Eric Cartmen
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUTHktI8kJA
Posted by: wotchit321 | 11/02/2009 at 10:01 AM