Be Careful What You Wish For

So – What will happen to the Eurozone?

Alright I know the Captain’s personal blog is not usually regarded as the font of all fiscal and financial knowledge, as a matter of fact I hardly know the difference between the two – bit like most economists then.*

*(Fiscal refers to Government related financial policies and usually prefixes something else like ‘policy’ or nowadays ‘deficit’. Don’t bother Googling, where do you think I checked?)

. . . As usual of course I do have some (fairly strong) opinions (you’re a bigot. Ed) as to the cause and ramifications of the bloody mess that now exists. Note I did not phrase that ‘the mess we’ve got into’ or ‘the mess we find ourselves in’. Those are the most commonly used phrases to define the situation and they are usually heard emerging from the mouths of the political classes.

Of course all of us must bear some responsibility for our country’s debt; that is when it is as a result of the stupidity or downright dishonesty of our political ‘leaders’. After all – as a body we voted them in.

By the way – if you are one of those incompetent creatures who habitually say at this point ‘I don’t vote – they’re all the same’, please leave now.

Anyone who won’t get off their a**e to vote has no place in this discussion (alright you’re not discussing but you know what I mean – there is a comment facility you know).

If you don’t want to vote for any of the clowns suggested by your local representatives then do what the Captain sometimes does, wander into the booth and express your views, firmly but not too rudely, on the ballot paper.

. . .It doesn’t have to be anything too intellectual, ‘None of the Above’ (©Richard Pryor – God Bless Him), ‘Vote for Me you Moron’s’ or the classic ‘None of you lot are worth a toss’.

If enough people do this perhaps the ‘political classes’ might at least get a hint but whatever you do, use your vote even as a voice of dissent.

. . .When we have governments elected by around a quarter of the population there is something rotten in the state of Denmark (sorry Denmark, I don’t know why the Bard had to choose you, you’re not even IN the Eurozone).

. . .Back to the plot. . . .

 

As we know everyone blames the bankers for the current disaster as we watch the Eurozone implode and the rats flee the ship. The real villains however are politicians (Surprise! Surprise! ) as anyone who has heard the likes of Neil ,Neil Orange Peel Kinnock admitting mea culpa to anyone prepared to listen for trying to force us (UK that is)into the Euro, this from a man who has been positively slurping from the gravy train since British voters decided he was an overconfident, smug Welsh windbag with a wife trying to be posh.

So what did we wish for?

Perhaps we can trace our demise in Britain back to coming off the gold standard, after all, when you have a commodity that anyone in the world will give you a standard price for you can quantitive ease your fiscal bowels out all day long, provided of course you have the geld to cover it.

Coming off the gold standard should have caused alarm straight away when you think about it. ‘I Promise to Pay the Bearer’ means what it says, i.e. I’ll give you gold to the value of.  Not,   I’ll swap you three toxic mortgages, five beans and a pair of Nike trainers (hardly worn).

We came off the gold standard because we didn’t have enough gold presumably. We then got Gordon the Gofer as chancellor who thought in his infinite financial wisdom that it would be a good idea to flog off what we had left (at about 20% of its worth today). And I thought Jocks were supposed to be a bit cute round a pound note!

 

So where are we now?

And who wished for what exactly?

Well when the Captain was a little swab in short trousers taking history lessons in school (actually my history lessons are now ancient history themselves when you think about it) he was regaled with tales of how Germany, emerging from the first big one a little sorry for itself, entered the next two decades without the proverbial topf to pisse in.

Tales of poverty abounded, you know the sort of thing wheelbarrows full of Deutschmarks left outside and when the owner returned the money was there but the barrow had been nicked. Presumably it was this very situation that wound up the little house painting Chaplin tribute act so much he decided to rule the world (actually he vowed to rule Europe and ‘let Britain take care of the rest of the world’).

Now this great desire for lebensraum is no laughing matter of course but, as we all now know, without a central Eurozone bank similar to the Bank of England (Gawd bless her), the only ones with the cash to mortgage out the Italians, Greeks, Portuguese, Irish et al are our old mates Merkel Gmbh and associates.

So now, and you’ve got to admire them for it, our old mates in Germany will rule Europe, whether we or indeed they, like it or not. Considering a short time ago they were complaining that reintegrating what was East Germany into the West was going to skint them, and now they (apparently) have the only really healthy economy in Europe (we don’t count the Swiss, they don’t speak to the neighbours unless they want something – you know the type) I for one look forward to see what they’re going to do with their new empire.

Ironic isn’t it.

The Roman Empire lasted centuries and swept across this part of the globe with impunity, now the Germans can give a foster home to the Italians – the country equivalent of Paris Hilton.

 

Best of luck with that then, I’m sure that’s what you ordered sir.

Comments

[mT]

Thank you for your informative article and discussion.